Naïve Realism: Or, “I’m Not Biased, Everyone Else Is Just an Idiot”

Naïve realism is the delightful psychological delusion that one’s personal view of the world is objective truth, and anyone who disagrees must be:

• a) confused,
• b) misinformed,
• or c) your cousin Gary, who still thinks email is a scam.

It’s your brain looking at the messy, complex chaos of life and saying, “Hmm yes, I’ve got this all figured out. Everyone else is clearly having some sort of episode.”

What It Feels Like:

“I don’t think I’m right.
I know I’m right.
Because I remember it exactly. And my memory is famously flawless, isn’t it?”

No. You once insisted it was bin day on a Wednesday, watched the lorry drive straight past, and then blamed the council for ‘conspiring against you.’

How It Works:

• You see the world.
• Your brain processes it through a charming cocktail of bias, ego, and half-baked assumptions.
• You conclude your opinion is “just common sense.”
• Everyone else, meanwhile, is apparently hallucinating.

It’s like everyone’s walking around with cracked windshields — but you’re convinced yours is crystal clear, even though you’ve got a dead pigeon stuck to the wiper and you’re steering with your knees.

Examples (Because We Need Them):

Politics:

“Oh no, I’m not partisan — I just happen to agree 100% with my party and believe everyone else is either corrupt or mentally unwell.”

Relationships:

“I was being perfectly reasonable. They were the one screaming and throwing things.”
(You were screaming. You were the one throwing the scented candle. And it was still lit.)

Social Media:

“I post facts. If people are offended, that’s on them.”
But you posted a 37-paragraph rant about parking spaces and called Sandra from No. 12 “a fascist with a Range Rover.”

The Inevitable Conclusion

Naïve realism is like that bloke at the pub who insists he’s not drunk — while standing in a hedge and ordering crisps from a potted plant.

Everyone’s got it. No one thinks they do.
It’s invisible, annoying, and shows up whenever someone says, “I’m just being honest,” right before they ruin your entire day with their “truth.”

So if you’re absolutely convinced you’re seeing things clearly, and everyone else is “a bit lost,” just remember:

You might be right.
But probably not.
More likely, you’re just shouting louder than the other idiots.